Practical & radical wisdom for healing cycles, sex, contraception & abortion. Scientific & soulful inquiry, creative & critical thinking. Plants, pleasure, & power.
de-centering PIV
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Hi Reader, To achieve mutual pleasure & avoid pregnancy, one of the most important things we must do is de-center penis-in-vagina (PIV) as our collective definition of "sex". Here is an excerpt from the module on Pleasure Praxis in Conscious Contraception for the Fellas: Mind the Gap: Becoming Cliterate
We know that PIV (penis-in-vagina) sex creates the biggest risk of unwanted pregnancy. What’s less commonly known is the well-documented fact that PIV is not the most reliable route for the majority of AFAB bodies to orgasm.
Mind the gap!
Make your pleasure praxis a bridge that closes the tremendous gap between AMAB & AFAB orgasms by becoming “cliterate.” According to the research of Dr. Laurie Mintz, the author of Becoming Cliterate:
>> 30% of AFAB people report they are “capable” of orgasming from PIV sex.
>> 15%-18% of AFAB people report they “regularly” orgasm during PIV sex.
>> 4% of AFAB people report that PIV is a “reliable” route to orgasm.
>> Less than 2% of AFAB bodies regularly masturbate with a penetrative object.
Additionally:
>> Heterosexual cis-men orgasm about 30% more often than hetero-cis-women during PIV sex.
>> While it takes the AFAB body between 20 & 45 minutes to reach optimal physical arousal, the average PIV session lasts around five minutes.
Play > Foreplay
Eliminate the false hierarchy of categorizing some kinds of sexual play as “real sex” & other activities as “foreplay” or a merely preamble to the “main event” of PIV. For example: Oral sex is not just foreplay, it is real sex. Mutual masturbation is sex. The list goes on & on.
It’s all play, not just foreplay!
De-centering PIV sex as the definitive act can also help AMAB bodies feel less pressure to “last” or “perform.” Rather than centering PIV sex as the ultimate goal, open the aperture of your pleasure to enjoy more kinds of sexual pleasure more fully.
Mutual pleasure while avoiding pregnancy is a form of nurturance culture (a term coined to encompass the antidote to rape culture by Nora Samaran in 2016). I hope you'll join us in exploring the topics of nurturance culture, re-defining sex, & more TONIGHT at the Fruit of Knowledge Learning Circle live on Zoom: Pleasure Praxis & Pregnancy Prevention Monday, November 2nd from 5pm - 6:30pm PT Live on Zoom, with 2 week recording available
*This class qualifies as CEUs for alumni of The Well School of Body Literacy. I've also decided to share the full written Pleasure Praxis module from the Conscious Contraception for the Fellas ecourse with everyone who registers for tomorrow's class. The full Conscious Contraception for the Fellas ecourse is available for self-study for a pay-what-you-want contribution on my website. Each written module is accompanied by a recorded lecture & discussion with myself, my partner Nicholas who co-facilitated the course, & 13 international men who participated in the first live cohort of the course. I look forward to diving into this important conversation about Pleasure Praxis & Pregnancy Prevention tomorrow evening!
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Samantha Zipporah
Practical & radical wisdom for healing cycles, sex, contraception & abortion. Scientific & soulful inquiry, creative & critical thinking. Plants, pleasure, & power.